


Bad Movies 101

by ShinPyon



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bunch of crazy OCs for your daily mentally deranged needs, Crack Fic, Established Relationship, Kagababe Attempts to Act, M/M, PDA, Possessive Aomine, because why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-22 22:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7457101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinPyon/pseuds/ShinPyon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Bad Movie Every Bad Movie Fan Like You Must See Before You Die</p><p>id est</p><p>Kagami was dragged by Director-kun and was (in a way) forced to act with a perv and a thug but then Aomine interrupts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bad Movies 101

**Author's Note:**

> I have this very bad idea I just couldn't get outta mah head.
> 
>  
> 
> Please forgive me.

 

“Listen up guys! So this is going to be impromptu. I want everything to appear as natural and smooth flowing as possible. I’ll give you certain scenarios but aside from that you guys are on your own. Think of wise and proper lines to say. Remember to act normal, no pressure at all. Also, no worries because all of your hard work will be compensated – you guys over there! Zip it ‘cause I won’t repeat myself – so I somewhat expect a decent act. Do your best!”

 

Uh.

 

Shit.

 

_What am I doing here again?_

 

Kagami runs his hand through his hair and scratches his head as he reaches the back. What has he gotten himself into? He is out in town to buy a new pair of kicks, not to be dragged into this sticky situation by someone who says _Hey, you’ll be perfect for this role. I think you have a great potential. Join us_. It happened too fast all he could do was nod his head. And now, all he feels is regret. After a deep and heavy sigh, he strides to where the smaller woman with a notably menacing aura akin to his coach is sitting, feet dragging laboriously as if he is carrying all the burdens in the whole world. Because holy crap, where the heck did he get the idea he can act? Oh. He doesn’t have too many ideas inside his head to begin with. Again, just like what happened countless of times before, Kagami acted on impulse without thinking. Only because he feels it is always easier that way, but not really now that he criticizes (very hard and carefully) his sudden life decisions.

 

He might as well try his luck if he could get out of this before he creates a mess and makes a joke out of himself.

 

He stands before the brunette woman, hurls another sigh and opens his mouth to protest (against this sick idea, according to him) but deadpans when the woman (who is actually the director by the way) turns to look sharply at him. Damn! If mere looks could kill, then RIP Kagami.

 

“Hey there red! Here’s your scene. Find the others who are in the same category. This is going to be super duper quick. Just a bunch of shorts.  You have 15 minutes to prepare. Good luck!”

 

“…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I am… You know…”

 

“Take it.”

 

“Ahm. ‘kay. T-thank you very much.”

 

There is no turning back now. Her eyes say it all. _You can’t run away, I’ll haunt you if you do._ He sighs for the umpteenth time and takes the paper just because. At least he gets money out of this. He devastatingly stares at the words printed on the white sheet of paper and notices the genre, Drama. Kagami closes his eyes as he screams internally. Really now? Is the director silently mocking him? Obviously, as far as his intimidating look is concerned, there is nothing dramatic in the skin he lives in. But who knows? Maybe he has a hidden talent for acting that is sleeping somewhere inside him. Yeah, that is optimism in the midst of distress.

 

_I might as well get an Oscar award for this acting debut._

 

He walks to a small crowd just outside a café at which people are busy chit chatting about their respective roles. He begins to look for his own group so he can start rehearsing. Why does it seem like he is into it now, he doesn't really know. Maybe just to get over it real quick and to buy what he gotta buy then head straight home. There are six of them in the Drama setting, four men and two women. If you are going to ask him how he thinks things are going to flow? The answer is it is going to be one hell of a riot. One guy looks like a kicked puppy, the other one looks like a yakuza and the remaining dude has this weird rape face (no hatin just sayin). The two ladies look just fine, the first is a brunette with short length and the other is a raven haired with longer length, that he feels sorry for them because they have to deal with weird looking men (aside from him of course, forked brows excluded). Is this really going to be a drama or a huge freaking gag show?

 

“Soooooo… We’re on the drama team. Hahahahahahaha.” The yakuza-onii-san starts the conversation by laughing maniacally whilst winking at the two girls. Creepiness overload. Whatever power does the director possess that she convinced yakuza-onii-san to do this, Kagami is simply amazed and fears her at the same time.

 

“I knooooow. I’m excite! You ladies over there look appetizing but on a second thought you guys *he points at puppy-chan and Kagami* are not bad yourselves.” Hentai-kun follows through and wiggles his eyebrows. He even surpasses the creepiness level yakuza-onii-san has set. Unbelievable. Kagami eyes the ladies expecting a very disgusting reaction from them only to see them blushing. Maaaan, they're taking it as a compliment? This is stupid. They're not fine at all, there must be something wrong with them.

 

“Hey. You sure this is the drama and not the bad porno team?” Puppy-chan softly nudges Kagami and asks him in a hushed voice. At least one of them, alongside him, seems normal.

 

“I don’t even know what to say. I just want this done so I could go.” Kagami answers and face palms. He silently prays for the safety of the shoot and the actors (from those two freakazoids).

 

The director interrupts their downright awful conversation, thanks to those two, to say something that will make Kagami even bitter than he already is. She claps to get their attention and speaks. “Excuse you. I have something to add. To make things more interesting, why not add a touch of BL, yeah? There’s too much boys in this team so I think this will be purr-fect. Red hottie, I want you to take the main role. Hentai-kun and Yakuza-niisan are going to fight over you but you like them both-"

 

“Wait, wait, wait, just waaaaait.” Kagami tries to interfere. _Don't you dare turn this into a really bad gay porno._ He looks at his team. His pleading eyes are silently asking them to side with him. _Guys? Anyone? Why aren't you guys complaining? Gimme a break._ But even Puppy-kun is too afraid to voice out his opinion although Kagami can see he doesn't like the idea as well.

 

“Shhh! Don’t cut me off. Puppy-chan, you’re Red hottie’s best friend, ‘kay? Brunette-chan is Red hottie’s ex girlfriend while Raven-chan is Yakuza-niisan’s girlfriend. Got it guys? No time to rehearse now. We’ll start the camera rollin after 2 minutes.”

 

Director-san begins to walk away but Kagami grabs her arm, in a gentle manner for safety precaution, to stop her.

 

“Listen. I don’t think I can really-”

 

“No, no, no, no… Don’t think too hard. Just go with the flow. This role is you! This is so you, I just know it.”

 

“In what sense?”

 

“You’re hot. Enough said. We’re wasting time here, common...”

 

She pushes Kagami in between Hentai-kun and Yakuza-niisan, much to Kagami’s horror. The woman is incredibly strong for her own good. This is going downhill way too fast. “For the first scene, let’s get it on with the nasty fight right away. I want to see genuine hatred between Hentai-kun and Yakuza-niisan. This means war boys. You both want a piece of Red hottie so you gotta fight for it. Don’t be too physical though, I don’t wanna see any blood or bruise. Verbal abuse is fine. We’re rated R. Clear?”

 

_Rated R?_

 

Both boys nod in enthusiasm, Kagami turns pale, and Director-san smiles wickedly. She then turns to a stunned and devastated Kagami and pats his back. “And you. Just stay hot and attractive.”

 

_What the hell?_

 

* * *

 

“-Scene 1, take 1. Aaaaaaaand, action!”

 

It's just an amateur B-class movie so there are only a few staffs here and there. Not far from the cafe is where Director-san is sitting. Beside her is Camera-niisan and Clapperboard-kun. The plot of each short is simple that's why a grandiose preparation isn't much needed. The team keeps it low key to make the atmosphere more like your-average-everyday-ish-happenings. Aside from the fact that in reality you don't normally see two weirdos fight over one tall redhead.

 

_The director says she wants ordinary scenes then again why did she even hire these freakos? I can't even. Ugh._

 

Kagami's mind is not even on the sequence that is happening right now. He is too busy questioning his and the director's choices in life and career. He is completely lost in his own thoughts, he doesn't even notice the filming already began.

 

Yakuza-niisan wastes no time as he swiftly yanks the collar of Hentai-kun’s shirt. “Back the eff off moron! He is mine!”

 

Hentai-kun, feeling as competitive as ever, never lets the other man outdo his performance as he shows off by latching on to the hand grasping his collar. “Hah! Your breath stinks, bastard! You don’t even have the right to look at him so why don’t you back off!”

 

“Cut! Cut! Cut! Red hottie, you look like a lost kitty. Common! Show me more emotion! Mooooore!”

 

Kagami snaps out of his internal conflicts when he heard Director-san's fuming voice. “Huh? What do you mean by that? You said to stay like… this?”

 

“Sure did, but you don't look hot. You look like a fuckin corpse! Wake up! Okay. When two people are fighting, what do you usually do? Especially when you’re the root of it?”

 

“I’ll try to... stop the fight?”

 

“Do it! You two *points at the two oddballs* are doing a great job. Continue from where we left off. Camera-niisan? Clapperboard-kun? In 3, 2, 1.” Director-san shouts and pushes her sunglasses up her nose. One staff hands her a bottled water.

 

Clapperboard-kun begins shouting. “I just need somebody to love. Scene 1, take 2.”

 

Kagami chokes on his own saliva now that he hears the movie title loud and clear.

 

“Action!”

 

_This director is seriously killing me._

 

The two resume their fight while throwing insults at each other and cursing like a pro. Director-san motions Kagami to make his move so the redhead decides to cut in and say whatever he thinks will work best. “Stop fighting you scoundrels!”

 

“What? No! You like them both remember?”

 

“Okay, okay. Stop this right now uh.. c-crackpots!”

 

“Hahahahahahaha! That's fitting but NO! CUUUUUUT!”

 

Director-san removes her sunglasses, grunts and gives Kagami the _do it right or you're dead_ kinda look and he knows he at least needs to try harder.

 

“How could you insult someone you like? You can do better than that Red! Show me what you got! Clapperboard-kun, ready.”

 

 _I actually do._ Kagami thinks of a certain tanned man who he casually calls names out of endearment and for a moment he feels calm and happy. The two screwballs take notice of the small smile creeping on his face as they turn to look at each other, both thinking the redhead looks pretty adorable.

 

“I just need somebody to love. Scene 1, take 3.”

 

Director-san throws him a death glare that sends shivers down his spine one last time. “ACTION!”

 

Hentai-kun and Yakuza-niisan begin fighting, yet again. Even after these takes the two never fail to amaze Kagami at how good they are in throwing insults at each other. The curses get dirtier and more degrading that he kind of feels sorry they have to ingest them all in one day. It's also a little funny 'cause the insults fit them so perfectly that on a side note, maybe he doesn't feel sorry at all. He suddenly scans the area around them to see people giving them dirty looks as they exchange whispers to one another. It dawns on him that what they're doing is indeed embarrassing and how he wishes to be eaten by the ground right then and there.

 

“Yo. Care to explain what the hell is happening here oyaji?”

 

 _Oh noes._ That deep sensual voice. This is what he fears the most. And there he is. Standing in all his glory, dashing with tenacity.

 

“Ahomine.”

 

The great Aomine Daiki has arrived. Without looking at the redhead, Aomine solely focuses his attention to the two strangers (who do they think they are) as he smugly and comfortably rests both arms on their shoulders, completely towering them. All three pairs of eyes look at the director asking if they should stop but Director-san mouths them to carry on. Aomine doesn't notice and Kagami doesn't like that idea.

 

“Do you have a problem with this sexy redhead of an airhead?”

 

“That last one is uncalled for _Daiki._ ” Kagami retorts but Aomine is busy with Hentai-kun and Yakuza-niisan.

 

“Who the fuck are you, Chokoreto-san?” Yakuza-niisan asks in return, looking up at Aomine. Very gutsy, just what you would expect from a gangsta. Kagami swears he heard a vein snapped inside Aomine's forehead, one brow twitching in annoyance. He tries to stifle a laugh. Take note, tries but successfully fails.

 

“Shut up Bakagami, its not funny!”

 

“Look Choco-chan, I believe we all wanna play hero. But look at us and compare our high-end attractiveness to yours? Hah! Incomparable. *Kagami wants to vomit all his insides. Hentai-kun is a pervert and a filthy liar* But now that you're here, we might as well ask your humble opinion, who you think fits Red hottie here perfectly?” Hentai-kun says and Kagami forgets that he is _actually_ shooting a film, and that he might probably wanna stop it because Aomine Daiki. He is (just a little, trust him) excited to see Aomine's reaction.

 

“Hah! Why ask when the answer is clearly obvious. Look at how gorgeous I am. You see these guns? These guns will protect you from anything Red Baby.” Yakuza-niisan flexes and wiggles his brows at Kagami. The redhead wants to puke so badly, its so gross.

 

“I call that bullshit! Guns, huh? GUNS? Those are flabs! You might wanna scram and hit the gym first you fatso!” Hentai-kun fires back and to be honest, it is a great comeback that Kagami can't hold in the laughter flowing freely from his mouth.

 

“Of all people you telling me that!? You're a walking disaster moron! I think I should call fashion police!”

 

Kagami covers his face with his hand and the other is on his stomach as he laughs his heart out. This is priceless. He is right. It is indeed a gag show. A riot of a gag show. For the first time in forever Kagami Taiga's prediction came true. Aomine is not amused. He removes his arms from their shoulder, stretches and pops the bones of his hands. He leaves the two to their own ridiculous biting and looks at Kagami.

 

“Oi Kagami! Are these dimwits even serious?” There's the infamous Aomine glare.

 

“Look. This is not what you think-”

 

“Cut your crap for a minute dickheads! Now tell me, who do you belong to _Taiga_?” Hentai-kun and Yakuza-niisan go mum without a second thought. They both turn their gaze to Kagami and are thrilled to hear his answer.

 

“Are you for real?” Kagami's eyes widen at what Aomine is making him say.

 

“Come on. We wanna know.” The two nod in agreement.

 

Aomine is giving him _the look_. _What you can't say it? Such a coward._ Because of his competitive nature, Kagami takes it as a challenge even though Aomine's intention is in fact different.

 

“I'm yours.” The redhead mumbles, voice so soft the words can be barely heard.

 

“Not good. We can't hear you. Again.”

 

“I said I'm yours!” Kagami is blushing like crazy and it makes Aomine wear his signature smirk.

 

“D'ya hear that oyaji?” Aomine declares arrogantly as he leans down in the space between the two.

 

“I'm not an oyaji! I'm only 20!” That's Yakuza-niisan by the way.

 

“Wait. Are you the boyfriend? Like, _the boyfriend_?” And that's Hentai-kun. Aomine flat out ignores them and continues talking to a very red and very abashed redhead.

 

“A little bit louder for the fellows at the back.”

 

“I'm yours! Yours, yours, just yours you Ahomine! Happy now!?” Kagami shouts emphatically and glares straight at Aomine. _See that? I'm not a weakling! I totally did it!_ All he wants to do right now is to grip his hair out of first hand embarrassment. Aomine grins so wide he feels like his face might rip off. “There's your answer morons.” He triumphantly slaps the back of the two dudes and walks up to Kagami, oozing with arrogance.

 

“What else do you want?” He asks knowing Aomine all too well, he is certain the blunette is thinking of more ways to rattle him.

 

“I want a kiss.” Aomine leers haughtily.

 

“You're kidding me...” Kagami backs away and Aomine takes a step forward at the same time.

 

“I kiss you, or you kiss me. Choose.”

 

“That doesn't make sense! You're plotting a horrendous PDA session and I don't like it!”

 

“Then push me away.”

 

Aomine takes one final step and swiftly grabs Kagami’s waist. The redhead who could keep up with Aomine’s agility quickly lifts his right hand and covers the other’s mouth while his other hand clutches onto Aomine’s front shirt. “Stop. Do we really have to do this?” Touou’s ace isn’t someone who backs down. He craves winning. He gets what he wants. Whilst his left arm encircles Kagami’s waist to keep him in place, the right arm slowly creeps inside the redhead’s top. “D-Daiki?”

 

His right hand crawls ever so gently on Kagami's back, leaving trails up his spine which makes the smaller guy squirm. Aomine knows every inch of his body, each sensitive spot, any weakness he has. Kagami's hand leaves Aomine's mouth as it gradually slides to rest on his shoulders. The blunette beams victoriously. He is certain his tiger won't be able to resist him, whenever, wherever. Now that Kagami's defense breaks down, he sees an opening and inches closer until his lips are millimeters away from the redhead's, teasing and playfully brushing against it delicately. "Mmmm..." Kagami closes his eyes and moans lowly just enough so that Aomine is the only soul who could hear. Aomine leans further until his lips dip perfectly against Kagami's lips. His hand lies flat on the small of Kagami's back, he can totally feel the heat of his skin against the warmth of his own. There is no tongue involved but the contact is enough to make Kagami's insides flutter and Aomine's heart stands still. Seirin's ace draws small circles at the nape of Aomine's neck because he knows he loves it whenever he does that. The small but sweet gesture brings Aomine to sigh in contentment and pulls him closer to his body. They both break apart and Kagami opens his eyes to see a very much pleased Aomine smiling warmly at him.

 

"You're really the best Taiga." Aomine rubs his left cheek with his thumb as he receives a loving smile from his tiger in return. The loud catcalls, cheers and claps bring them out of their own little universe. They didn't even notice that a small crowd has gathered around them to witness their precious PDA moment. Kagami buries his heated face against Aomine's shoulder. How could he embarrass himself for numerous times in a day? "Hey... Stand tall and proud." "Not today Daiki." 

 

“Aaaaaaaaand cut!”

 

Director-san smiles brighter than the sparkling waters of the Pacific Ocean and hurriedly jogs up to them, a bewildered Daiki looking at her direction.

 

“Cut? What? What did she mean by cut?”

 

“I hope you get nominated for best actor Daiki.” Kagami recovers and looks at Director-san who shoos away the not so important human beings.

 

“The fuck? Are we filming? The heck is this?"

 

"I'll explain everything later."

 

“That. Is. Amazing! Bravo!” After Director-san successfully convinced the unwanted crowd to scram, she approaches them with such big twinkling eyes. “I can't believe it. My first movie is based on true events. (Kagami: Oh my God no) You have such great chemistry. (Aomine: I agree to that one) You think we can arrange a hot and steamy bed scene hm?”  _Damn it woman, why do you look so eager now huh!?_

 

“WHAT? NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Kagami quickly retaliates.  _Didn't I say I don't want this to turn into a bad gay B-porno?_

 

“Yeah. I don't think I want people to see his sexiness. I don't share.” Surprisingly, Aomine agrees with him. _Bless you, Daiki_. Another one of the very rare times they compromise.

 

“30000 yen?”

 

“When and where? You name it!”

 

“Ahomine Daiki!”

 

Or maybe not.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know...  
> Where did the other three (Puppy-kun, Brunette-chan, Raven-chan) go?  
> Does anybody care?  
> Great, no one cares. Hahahahahaha!  
> Ja ne~


End file.
